Parenting is one long, slow lesson in letting go, ain’t it?

We start by holding our babies close and then, little by little, we open our arms. From their first few steps without fingers in your grasp, to the day they say want to stop doing something you thought they loved, there’s bound to be a hitch in your heart when “stay close” shifts to “go ahead.”

I’ve felt that pull and release many times, each a rehearsal for more to come.

My daughter, Petra began ballet at 18 months at the studio where her Auntie Nikki taught and at first, she was hesitant. More than hesitant. (This isn’t the first I’ve written of it… click here to go all the way back in time.) I stuck close at the sidelines in the room, then by the door, then eventually outside. Slowly, and with the care of her wonderful teacher, Shauna, I let go. And Petra found her way without me. Over the next six years, she built confidence and community while I built friendships in the lobby.

It was more than dance, it was our place! With our friends.

When she told me she wanted to quit, I thought she’d change her mind. “You don’t have to do competitive,” I reassured her, “and you can always do fewer classes.” (Her reply was a stare that said, “what are you not getting about this?”)

At Petra’s final recital, she smiled the whole way through her tap number. She was so good. I thought, she’s in love with it again!

But afterward, when I mentioned that big grin, she said, “I was only smiling so much because I knew it was my last time dancing.” Oh my gosh, that girl! And she meant it. And while of course, a part of me ached, another part knew that this is what we’ve been practicing for. It was another moment to let go.

Now don’t get me wrong, Petra didn’t stop creating. In fact, she’s since found her niche, writing and illustrating a new book nearly every day. Her stories are whimsical and weird and honestly, they’re getting really good. I’m watching her grow into a storyteller in her own right, and it’s pretty magical. She also enjoys Girl Guiding, swimming, piano, and is trying soccer this Spring.

As for my dance mom friends, I’d said goodbye to them at that last recital years ago, knowing our lobby hangouts at the studio were now just a sweet little memory for me. Via social media, I’ve enjoyed seeing their little dancers excel at competitions and smile in photos with their costumes on.

Little did I expect the plot twist of Fall 2024!

My son, whose activity schedule was already pretty full, wanted to try a hip-hop class with a friend. Okay, I told him, we’ll squeeze it in. Well, fast forward to last weekend when I watched his little group at their first competition and the ABSOLUTE VIBE on that stage filled the theatre. These boys are passionate little dancers, earning a High Gold from the judges. He’s already angling for more classes next year. And selfishly, I’ve been so glad to reconnect with my dance mom friends..

Somewhere in the middle, I found my own way into dance. I’d tried tap as a kid because my grandma wanted me to. She was a tap dancer herself, and my mom twirled baton in parades in Saskatoon, so she was hopeful for me to continue the legacy of performance in movement. She was not happy that after just a few classes, I quit. Of course, my grandma bronzed those tiny tap shoes anyway. Looking at them as decades went by, I regretted not giving it a fair shot.

That’s why it’s so special to me that I’ve landed at Dancepiration doing Cardio Salsa classes, and that I visit Saskatoon Pole and Dance for some recreational drop ins. I’m certainly never the best in the room, but that’s not the point. There’s no audience. The only person I have to make happy is myself. And I am.

What I’ve realized along the journey of dance, sport, Guiding, music, and every other activity, is that every interest opens a door not just for our kids, but for us. There’s always a community waiting on the other side of whatever they try. And since Saskatoon is a small city, sometimes the worlds overlap, and that’s even better!

Parenting itself is a dance full of improvisation and missteps, but it sure is beautiful. You lead for a while, then you learn to follow. And eventually, you’re part of an audience cheering them on, as they spin out into the world in their own, unexpected ways.

Maygen